WWE was back in St Louis, Missouri last night for what has become their annual ‘Take The Day Off’ show, Battleground. As the buffer pay-per-view between Money In The Bank and Summerslam last year, and the start of the post-Summerslam/Night of Champions lull in 2013, it almost seems like this young show is cursed to underdeliver and outright disappoint. So, with that in mind, as well as flagging TV ratings, a card was put in place that guaranteed something approaching a watchable show this year: Brock Lesnar in his long-awaited singles bout with Seth Rollins, Kevin Owens finally challenging John Cena for the US Title, and Roman Reigns getting his one-on-one match with Bray Wyatt after the month of “mind games” he has been put through. As well as that, we had the New Day, one of the most high-quality acts in the company, getting their rematch with the Prime Time Players for the Tag Team Titles. With all this, and the anticipated return of a certain legend, surely such a card couldn’t sink to the depths of it’s predecessors, right? Right?
Well, it didn’t. But it sure as hell tried.
It’s not that there were any outright bad matches on the show. In fact, it was pretty solid all round. But the simple fact is that, despite all the pomp and circumstance, this felt like as lazy, uninspired and by-the-numbers show as you can possibly have. How much of this is the lack of star power the WWE has cultivated, the inability to book anybody but John Cena well, or the homogeny of the Universal HD set that has infiltrated shows in the last decade, I don’t know. What I do know is, when you can’t make a show featuring Brock Lesnar, Seth Rollins, Kevin Owens, John Cena and so much more interesting, you really need to consider more of a macro re-evaluation.
Pre-Show Match: King Barrett vs R-Truth (or King What’s Up, if you like that sort of thing)
I don’t know what to say about these matches anymore. This match took place on Raw just a week ago. There is nothing on God’s green Earth that these two can do together that is remotely impressive. Barrett is a great talker, and a fine wrestler, so it’s very disappointing to see him waste what should be his prime in stupid gimmicks and dull matches with guys like R-Truth. At the very least, I’m glad to see he got the win here, but this is the second consecutive pay-per-view on which this match took place. It’s legitimately insulting.
Winner: King Barrett
Match Rating: **
Before the show kicked off in earnest we got a little taste of Paul Heyman’s magic in a Twitter question segment hosted by Tom Phillips. While I think Heyman’s schtick as a babyface has been hit-or-miss (oh, the woes of WWE Babyfaces), his mock-frustration with Phillips’ hosting, and Phillips’ own retaliation was quite enjoyable. I want to see a little more of this antagonistic Paul Heyman on TV from now on, please and thanks.
Match 1: Randy Orton vs Sheamus
Hey! Speaking of matches I’ve seen too much of! Here’s Randy Orton and Sheamus! Yes, the match most famous for turning the IZOD Centre into an icon after WrestleMania 29 is tasked with opening in front of a hot crowd, Orton’s hometown, no less!
I swear to God, this is the absolute best these two could do against one another, and it’s still not very good. Randy Orton works a slow, “methodical” pace to most of his matches, and it works really well with dynamic workers. The Orton pacing does not work with John Cena, it barely works with Roman Reigns, and it absolutely does not work with Sheamus. History proves to us that Sheamus is best when someone takes his slow, brawling offense and fires right back, elevating drama and pacing to a crescendo. It goes without saying that Cesaro (probably the best worker in WWE) brings the best out of Sheamus. But for what we have here, Orton and Sheamus were well aware of their limitations, and they tried to work around them.
It half-worked, but the match could not escape long periods of dullness. In between spots like the RKO (well, exclusively the RKO), there was very little heat to this match, because everyone involved is aware of both the irrelevance of the match in the long-run, and the uninteresting work that will be put in. Even Sheamus hitting a Brogue Kick (a well-protected finish), didn’t stir anything up. The finish was never in doubt, and Orton won after about 16 minutes (at least five too long) with an RKO “out of nowhere”.
Winner: Randy Orton
Match Rating: **3/4
After this match, I went to make myself a cup of tea, so I don’t know if they ran an angle beyond Orton celebrating in the ring, and I don’t care. Do you? Didn’t think so.
Match 2: WWE Tag Team Championship – Prime Time Players (Titus O’Neill and Darren Young) (c) vs The New Day (Kofi Kingston and Big E) (w/Xavier Woods)
This was awesome. This match was half the length of Orton/Sheamus, but it delivered so much richer and enjoyable a bout than those two. The New Day cut a simple but effective promo, highlighting how they “deserve” the titles, and how they must lose to win more. It’s so wonderfully deluded, and all three are so good right now. Xavier the manic hype man, Big E the energetic preacher, and Kofi the disingenuous goof. To watch them become such a well-oiled machine in the ring (replete with incessant trash talker Woods at ringside) is one of the single-most satisfying things in wrestling right now.
Anyway, everybody looked good here. The Prime Time Players got a very strong face reaction (though the New Day’s brilliance could be to thank for that). Darren Young played the plucky face, and Titus the wrecking crew, very well. The New Day were on fire with rapid exchanges of offense and frequent tagging in and out. There was very little to complain about here, only that the match could have gone longer and kept interest. Big E and Titus in particular tear it up really well (Big E’s splash on the apron was a great spot that looked incredible in slow-motion).
The finish is somewhat questionable, as The New Day have absorbed two losses on consecutive pay-per-views now (with a mauling by Brock Lesnar in-between), but I’m glad that the result at least puts over the Prime Time Players as legitimate champions worthy of the accolade. The finish here, with Darren and Titus each hitting their finishes for the win, looked great and continued to put over how smooth and engaging the tag division is right now.
Still, if only New Day had won…
Winners (and still WWE Tag Team Champions): The Prime Time Players
Match Rating: ***1/2
I gotta say, I liked this rematch so much better than I thought. This made up greatly for the clipped match at Money In The Bank. The real question going forward is just what could be planned for the tag titles at Summerslam (knock on wood).
Match 3: Bray Wyatt vs Roman Reigns
Okay, so this was always going to be a question mark. Bray Wyatt vs Roman Reigns has never stood out to me as appealing, and as the ‘WWE Guys’ of their respective stables, the chances that they could do something dynamic and engaging weren’t particularly high. Roman has improved as a worker since January this year, and Bray Wyatt has his strengths in brawling matches, but has been a victim of incompetent booking for over a year now. With Roman as a heavy favourite, I had little hope going in here.
And, realistically, these two ended up delivering as much as they possibly could. For this pairing, that’s significantly more entertaining than Orton and Sheamus. In the early stages, Wyatt and Roman brawled like crazy, including some harsh bumps off the guardrail, stairs and apron. The middle segment of the match significantly impacted the whole product, however. Bray put Roman in a headlock for TWO AND A HALF MINUTES! That’s absolutely insane in a modern wrestling match, and really harmed the pacing of the match for a lot of it’s middle period. For a while afterwards, it felt like the two were sleepwalking through spots, and the whole thing started to unravel.
However, kudos to both, they really brought it back at the end. A series of neat Sister Abigail/Superman Punch reversals got the crowd nice and heated, and the brawl on the outside before Bray got some chairs from ringside was quite good. Of course, the finish of the match was what made it a thumbs up from me. A hooded figure (guess who) showed up out of nowhere to superkick Reigns, affording Wyatt the chance to hit Sister Abigail for a pinfall victory. Of course, the hooded man was Luke Harper, indicating the possibility of a full-fledged Wyatt Family reunion when Erick Rowan’s injury heals. I was very pleased that Roman wasn’t booked as unbeatably strong here, merely outmatched by a well-timed interference. If it weren’t for a sluggish middle section, this would have been match of the night.
Winner: Bray Wyatt
Match Rating: ***1/4
With the Intercontinental Championship triple threat thrown out due to Ryback’s injury, we had an unannounced match take place here between three divas from each of the three trios formed by Stephanie McMahon on Monday night. While a great boost for the divas division, this whole move seems to have homogenised the women of NXT so far, blending them into the WWE mold rather than breaking them out as superstars, comparable to the women WWE are piggybacking (Ronda Rousey, to name but one).
Match 4: Charlotte vs Sasha Banks vs Brie Bella
Anyway, each trio came out and put forward it’s champion: Charlotte of Team Paige, Brie of Team Bella and Sasha Banks of Team Bad. This match, while perhaps not the best way of getting the NXT women, and this whole “Divas Revolution” thing over, was a pretty good start. The action was good, if spotty. It was mostly about Brie being thrown out of the ring, so as to facilitate Charlotte and Sasha, who have great chemistry with one another. Brie dragged the quality of the bout down during her segments, not because she’s a bad wrestler (though she’s very mediocre), but because her role felt quite undefined within the match, so she just came in throwing bad kicks and generally looking out of place.
There were a number of nice high spots in the match, particularly Sasha’s tope and Charlotte’s plancha, both of which looked nice (even though Tamina has no ability to sell). The finish was also very well executed, as NXT Women’s Champion Sasha was protected outside the ring, as Brie tapped to the Figure Eight. This put over Charlotte, who will be the most over of the women, and kept Sasha strong, while also forwarding the story of the Bellas’ crumbling empire. Good stuff.
Winner: Charlotte
Match Rating: ***1/2
Everything else felt like filler in the light of our next match, however. John Cena vs Kevin Owens for the United States Championship was the match everyone was waiting for. Would Owens go over Cena again? Would Cena go over Owens again? Who would win the US Title? And most importantly, could this bout live up to their last two match of the year contenders?
The answer to that last question, I’m afraid, is no.
Match 5: United States Championship: John Cena (c) vs Kevin Owens
Look, these two worked magic for the last month and a half, having a blow-away match at Elimination Chamber, and following up with a less-inspired, but ferociously heated one at Money in The Bank. I head lots of talk about these two being able to have one hundred matches, and each one being great. Do you know what else we said that for? Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins. While it’s true that both those matches deliver something worth watching every time, the fact is, it gets lazy. Dean Ambrose was booked like a geek in the months after October last year, and Seth Rollins has been booked like a geek since winning the World Title at WrestleMania. And no matter how many times they reignite a feud that we all like, the only way it can elevate both men is if the content of the rivalry heats up or at least provides a foundation for the matches themselves.
Outside of the matches, and Owens’ stunning main roster debut, nothing on free TV has made me considerably excited for this bout. Sure, the inclusion of Cesaro and Rusev was great for television, but the only hook for Cena/Owens III was the simple fact that we liked their last two encounters. And Battleground’s match proves why we should never give WWE the benefit of the doubt as regards match quality. It was a perfectly fine match, to be sure, but there was just none of the fire or the suspense that elevated the last two. The match had barely begun and these two just threw bombs at each other, with none of the gradual buildup that made Cena’s matches with CM Punk and Daniel Bryan outright classics. Instead, I couldn’t help but find myself fatigued by an overabundance of big moves that never crafted any kind of narrative suspense or progression.
As you may know, it was the finish that really hurt this one. After kicking out of Cena’s Avalanche Attitude Adjustment ( try to copyright that one), Owens kicks out. As far as I know, that’s the only time that’s ever happened. Cesaro has been put away twice with the move, and Randy Orton lost their Hell In A Cell match last year with it. So for Owens to kcik out is a pretty big deal. Of course, when the match is worked in such a way that makes the viewer numb to big spots, that ended up not really meaning very much. The real kicker was moments later, when Cena locked on the STF, and Owens tapped! To run a tapout finish, after a match filled with nothing but large spots, is illogical at best. To do it to a hot star, who has huge pull with WWE’s hardcore fanbase (aka, the only people who will actively subscribe to the Network), is downright stupid.
Again, this wasn’t a bad match, but fatigue, repetition, and the worst finish of the year has this as the black sheep of their trilogy.
Winner (and still United States Champion): John Cena
Match Rating: ****
Between Cena/Owens and the main event, we had what was my favourite non-New Day segment on the show, as The Miz came out to address the lack of an IC Championship match on the show, and basically run down Big Show. In particular, his comment that “Big Show hasn’t been here since the Attitude Era” was just biting enough to make anybody boo. Miz has developed into one of the finest talkers of his time, legitimately talented in gauging fan responses, and working accordingly, few can play a “classic” heel as Miz can, and it’s a shame more can’t overlook his disastrous WWE title run in 2011.
Match 6: WWE World Heavyweight Championship – Seth Rollins (c) vs Brock Lesnar (w/Paul Heyman)
I don’t have a clue what to say about this. It wasn’t good. It was bad. Brock Lesnar’s schtick of great vengeance and furious anger doesn’t work when the guy is someone whom we never once considered in his plane of existence, and that disappoints me, because Brock Lesnar simply hasn’t had a bad match since the end of the Streak. In fact, he has had (with Seth Rollins), what I still very much consider to be the match of the year in WWE at this year’s Royal Rumble. The appeal of Lesnar’s violent destruction of John Cena and Roman Reigns springs from the fact that we believed they stood a chance, and Brock Lesnar proved that they didn’t. There was also the fact that Roman and Cena are people that the crowd desperately wanted to see made mortal, and Brock Lesnar delivered that to us.
With Seth Rollins, he’s such a good heel that he has still crafted a viewerbase that wishes to see Brock dismantle him with extreme prejudice, but as his momentum has been pissed away by the WWE, there is no intrigue or suspense to the match, and the lack of Roman Reigns, and especially John Cena, guarantees this match to be a squash without the same value as before. I can’t believe that WWE knows they must deliver on Seth vs Brock, but do not put the work into making Rollins anything resembling a threat to The Beast. Compared to the gripping and dramatic story of Royal Rumble, this is a huge disappointment. Both men are talented, but the WWE is a snake, and it’s eating it’s tail.
Basically, the finish is the only thing that matters here. Yeah, Brock suplexed Rollins a bunch (with Paul Heyman and the crowd counting along). Yeah, Rollins got in moments of offense that were surprisingly effective, but it all felt moot. It was clear that these were two men feigning a match before the angle happened, and that’s rarely a good thing in wrestling. And it was very much not a good thing here. Right at the nine minute mark, Brock Lesnar hit the F5, and went for the pin (brief note: it’s a good thing that the match built in such a way as to let us know that the F5 would have ended the match, compared to Cena and Owens’ kickout-fest, but I would have preferred we just got to see Rollins show some guts and kickout before the gong hit). As the ref counted, Undertaker’s gong hit, confirming rumours started by popular Reddit insider Falcon Arrow last week.
My problem with this angle is twofold. Part one is simply the execution. The Undertaker’s return, even as a surprise, felt extremely-telegraphed. The Brock/Seth match was worked with the obvious knowledge that there would be no finish, so the match was an absolute afterthought, only made work by a good crowd.
Secondly, the post-match attack itself, was not very heated, or particularly well-executed. The Undertaker will always receive face reactions, but his actions here were those of a heel. He attacked the righteous babyface at his moment of triumph, even kicking him in the dick (not very babyface-esque). Seth Rollins was brushed aside entirely (you’ve probably seen the jokes about Seth transforming into ‘Taker, or some such). That’s not good at all. When a 29 year-old star worker is made disappear for a 50 year-old part-time wrestler to reignite a lackluster feud with another part-timer who always looks best with more athletically-able talent, you’ve got a huge problem. The WWE is sacrificing another generation of stars for those of the past, while thrusting the meaningless label of “the future” onto them. Again, the snake is eating it’s tail.
Winner (?): Brock Lesnar by DQ (?)
Match Rating: *
On the whole, this show suffered from the Battleground curse. Neither a hot crowd or a relatively decent undercard could save some horribly botched finishes and angles. I don’t know what to hope for the future. Lesnar vs ‘Taker will main event Summerslam, but with ‘Taker’s physical appearance, I really don’t know what they can do anymore. It’s all so transparent. There is no love for wrestling, no attempts to push a new generation of stars and future prosperity. It’s all one big ploy, and more fool us for buying it.
Show Grade: C